I love self-help and personal development content. It decentralizes valuable knowledge and empowers people to grow into better versions of themselves. I cannot imagine living in a society where a minority of people hoard practical and useful information. After all, knowledge is power!
The problem with the proliferation of information is that we have become inundated with conflicting ideas as well as questionable (and downright false) information. What the Internet has given us is an information overload. We need to rummage through piles of junk to find hidden gems.
We can easily become overwhelmed and misguided without a framework for filtering out this abundance of information. In this article, I’d like to share a simple system for filtering the self-help/personal development advice we receive.
The Allure of Self-help
My content focuses on self-management, personal growth, and productivity. These are part of the self-help or personal development world. I am passionate about these topics because they expand how I see the world and how I think about myself.
If we never consider different ways to go about life, our options are limited to what we see in our immediate environment growing up. Hearing how other people do and experience things offers us new ideas to entertain. However, the constant flow of unique perspectives can have an addictive quality.
It is easy to obsess over finding the next best thing and get hooked on the sense of endless possibility. And so we consume more content than we can ever digest, let alone apply to our lives. Soon, we become overwhelmed with all the things we should be doing.
But the keyword in all of this is Possibility. Not everything we come across needs to be acted on or applied to our lives. Not everything we consume matters equally because not all of it has the same desirability or applicability.
Self-care content is not equally relevant, appealing, or useful to all of us. Most importantly, self-help advice is not a mandate. Other people’s advice is nothing more than a suggestion. You get to take what resonates with you and leave the rest.
You can make personal development content serve you by taking charge of how you use it.
Cut Through the Noise
The first step is to identify your specific areas of interest and set clear goals. This allows you to shift from a passive recipient to an active seeker of knowledge. It’s easy to be swayed by trends and external pressures, but staying true to your own objectives is key.
You must get in the driver’s seat when it comes to your content consumption. Start by identifying what you would like to improve about your life. Then, look for the content available in that subject area and pick what seems doable.
Before you roll your eyes because this sounds so obvious, consider how we actually consume online content. It gets aggressively pushed toward us, and we passively receive it. We get swept into the latest trends and succumb to the collective productivity obsession.
Picture this. You are going along, happy with your morning routine, until a podcaster tells you that you are doing it all wrong. Now, you feel the need to fix something that was fine to begin with. In addition to completely destabilizing a part of your life that was already working, you now incur the opportunity cost of addressing the problem areas you would rather be working on.
If you don’t set your own parameters on what you are interested in receiving, you get bombarded with other people’s agendas. Getting clear on what you want to work on at this point in time allows you to weed through high volumes of content much easier.
And then there is the issue of FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out. You may feel that you need to stay up-to-date on social trends lest you get left behind. If you don’t stay informed, you worry that you will miss out on some magical solution everyone else can enjoy.
But the truth is that there are no magic bullets. Self-help focuses on areas of our lives that are fluid and ever-evolving. It capitalizes on aspects that do not have a one-size-fits-all answer. And so, we will likely never end the quest for the perfect methods and tools.
There will always be new shining ideas that try to distract you from what you want to do.
By filtering the abundance of noise coming at you, you are not missing out on anything. When you decide that a new part of your life needs to be tweaked, you will find all kinds of content related to that. It will all be waiting for you.
Consider The Source
Once you have identified your current area of interest and effectively switched your incoming flow of content from push to pull, you need to filter it even further. Consider the source of the information.
If someone is trying to sell you something, take their advice with a grain of salt. Are you blinded by their looks or their confidence? And are you listening because they are the loudest voice or because the advice genuinely seems helpful?
Anytime you get ready to make drastic changes to your life based on outside advice, you should do some due diligence. You owe it to yourself to dig a little bit deeper and make an informed decision. You are responsible for the choices you make.
Is the information coming from a reputable and trustworthy source? Sometimes, you learn something from someone sharing a personal anecdote. The beauty of a personal anecdote is that it humanizes the advice. But one person’s experience is not enough to make the advice reliable.
Hearing someone’s story is a great way to connect to an experience and get the wheels turning. But always do your own research. Can you find more reputable sources to support this information?
Next, consider whether the advice aligns with your personal values, goals, and circumstances. I am a working woman in her thirties, a mother, and a wife. While I can genuinely enjoy advice from a single twenty-something man who owns a CrossFit gym, I must be realistic about our different circumstances.
Sometimes, the advice is interesting, logical even, but not directly applicable, or at least not at the current stage of your life. If that is the case, get clear on the fact that this is now just a piece of entertainment. It is a human interest story, not a directive.
Do not blur the line between entertainment and your personal development. This is not something to which you need to commit yourself, and it is not a scorecard for you to evaluate your life.
One of my favorite expressions when it comes to this type of content is, “I love that… for somebody else.”
Examine Your Motivation
Once you have removed the obvious non-starter advice, pay attention to the motivation behind what remains. Trust your gut. Consider how the information makes you feel.
I have written about the importance of setting gentle goals that make us feel good. Similarly, the content and advice you accept should make you feel excited about the potential outcome. Ideally, this information should address or support something you had already identified as an opportunity in your life.
It can be so easy to fall into the trap of “fixing” yourself, but this approach is based on the premise that there is something wrong with you. This feeling of needing to be “fixed” is particularly harmful when other people push it on you. Thinking this way only increases the level of resistance you will have to overcome.
Instead, prioritize advice that drives you toward new heights. Focus on self-edification, not self-flagellation. Think about living into your greater potential and lean into abundance instead of scarcity. Build yourself up, don’t fix yourself.
I don’t know about you, but change feels much better when fueled with positive energy. I’d much rather run towards something than away from something. And the desire for something better keeps me motivated longer than fear or disappointment.
If you feel miserable the entire time you are working on a goal, how do you expect to enjoy the results? After feeling terrible for so long, there is no magic switch to suddenly make you feel serene or elated. You have to make room for the feelings you want more of. It is hard to beat yourself into happiness.
Parting Words
Navigating the abundance of personal development content can be both empowering and overwhelming.
Remember that the purpose of self-help information is to provide you with suggestions and options. You must take responsibility for your choices and manage your consumption to make the most of it. It is your job to select and curate what is relevant to your life.
As you explore the world of personal development, remember that knowledge is indeed power. But the true power lies in your ability to filter, adapt, and apply that knowledge in ways that serve your unique path to personal growth and fulfillment.
