This page is a complete guide to a Self-Management framework for taking the reins of our personal development journey and filtering out the outside noise to keep only what serves and supports us.
Self-management is our ability to take responsibility for ourselves and manage our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions to live fully and intentionally. It is based on the belief that we can work with ourselves, our strengths, limitations, and circumstances to grow and prosper as human beings.
Background
In pursuing personal growth, it is hard to avoid being influenced by the latest social trends. We like to think we are above peer pressure, but repeated exposure to particular aesthetics or lifestyle concepts can soon normalize them.
With the prevalence of the Internet and our growing interconnectedness, it has become so easy to get swept into the emerging ideas seeping through our collective consciousness.
Everything from the CrossFit craze, the Ketogenic diet, intermittent fasting, the lure of self-employment, being location-independent, meditating, tiny houses, writing morning pages, the early retirement movement, etc., has a way to enter our mental space and settle in for a while.
Each social trend has its merits and can be a tool for personal growth. However, not all of them work for everyone.
After a brief introduction to Systems Thinking, let’s explore the concept of self-management, its benefits, and how it can be implemented. Then, let’s review seven key mental models that support personal growth.
A Brief Introduction to Systems Thinking
Systems thinking is an approach to studying complex systems that considers all the components in a system and how they interact with each other over time.
Systems are dynamic and produce results that exceed the simple sum of the parts. System components are interconnected, and their interactions contribute to the overall outcomes.
“Systems thinking has been an academic school of thought used in engineering, policy-making and more recently adapted by businesses to ensure their products and services are considering the ‘systems’ that they operate within.” [1]
The systems thinking framework can be applied to individuals as well. The human experience is complex, with many factors and variables.
Each person operates as a system of their mental models, skillsets, limitations, physical condition, aptitudes, etc.
Systems thinking is a valuable tool for a holistic understanding of one’s life and identifying the interrelated factors contributing to one’s overall well-being and success.
By taking a systems thinking approach, we can identify the subsystems in our life, such as work, relationships, health, and well-being, to explore how they are interdependent.
We are our own most significant asset. And, as a complex system, any adjustment made to one of the components has ripple effects on the rest of the system.
To create the best results from our personal systems, we must foster the congruence of all facets of our unique personalities and circumstances.
The self-management framework helps us look at the bigger picture of what is happening with our individual system.
What is Self-Management
Self-management is our ability to take responsibility for ourselves and manage our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions to live fully and intentionally. It is based on the belief that we can work with ourselves, our strengths, limitations, and circumstances to grow and prosper as human beings.
There can be nuances to the concept of self-management, depending on specific contexts.
It is used in healthcare to describe living with and managing various aspects of chronic medical conditions, including symptoms, treatments, lifestyle adjustments, etc.
“Self-management is a dynamic, interactive, and daily process in which individuals engage to manage a chronic illness.” [2]
It is used in a career setting to depict emotional intelligence and self-directed professional growth. According to Indeed.com:
“Self-management skills allow you to maximize your productivity, improve your workplace performance and efficiently achieve professional goals. Improving your self-management skills can help you increase your employability and better manage your career path.” [3]
Across contexts, the idea of self-management is based on a belief in self-efficacy or a person’s agency in creating better outcomes for themselves.
All forms of self-management involve a blend of self-monitoring, self-control, and self-regulation.
Self-management brings together all the various components of our lives to create a cohesive and coherent system.
Every effort we make towards personal growth requires self-management skills and is a part of our lifelong attempt to make the most of what we are given, in other words, to manage ourselves.
The self-management framework encompasses all the personal development activities we undertake:
- Time management
- Emotional regulation
- Productivity efforts
- Motivation building
- Self-discovery
- Personal vision development
- Identity development and diversification
- Energy management
- Goal-setting
- Skills development
- Habit building
- Self-care and well-being
- Confidence boosting
- Decision making
- Stress management
- Mindset work
- Procrastination minimization
- etc.
The Benefits of Self-Management
Self-management is an empowering mental model that refocuses us where we have the most control and influence: on ourselves.
It involves taking responsibility for our actions, showing initiative, being resilient in the face of setbacks, and developing self-reliance.
It begins by understanding ourselves: our energy levels, personal commitments, personality traits, priorities, preferences, learning styles, limitations, and how we process new thoughts.
Self-management wants us to work with our own strengths and around our weaknesses. It empowers us to identify and use the personal development tools that work specifically for us.
This framework minimizes resistance in our lives because we no longer fight to fit a square peg into a round hole. When we eliminate unnecessary roadblocks, we can create better results.
Self-management encourages us to take an active role in our lives and become more mindful and intentional about our overall experience.
Ultimately, self-management helps us build and maintain more positive relationships with ourselves and others.
The benefits of self-management can be summarized as follows:
- Improved self-awareness and self-reflection
- Increased self-discipline and accountability
- Enhanced decision-making skills
- Greater resilience and adaptability
- Confidence to try new things and start again
- Improved communication and interpersonal relationships
- Increased motivation and productivity
- A greater sense of purpose and fulfillment
- Improved overall well-being and mental health
How to Practice Self-Management
Self-management requires self-awareness. You need to understand yourself and your behavior patterns before you can regulate yourself. Self-discovery is a lifelong endeavor and requires time, patience, and self-compassion.
Study yourself
Many of us have an inaccurate and limited idea of who we are. This could be because we make assumptions about ourselves based on past events and behaviors. It could also be because we believe what others have told us about ourselves.
More often than not, our sense of identity is rooted in a past version of ourselves. It doesn’t consider the fact that we evolve constantly and are likely to behave differently under different circumstances.
Our character traits and our abilities are not set in stone. Our experiences shape us over time. We learn new behavior and develop new skills.
The best way to understand who were are is to stay curious, observe our behavior, and learn about ourselves.
Here are some practical ways to study yourself:
1. Develop a reflective practice
Take the time to reflect on your experiences. In hindsight, you can identify patterns of behavior that are hard to notice in the heat of the moment. In what areas are you strong? What would you like to change? Where would you like to grow?
2. Experiment
Try different methods and tools to discover what works for you or doesn’t. This can help you develop a customized toolbox for the future. What do you respond well to? What do you resist?
3. Journal
Writing can be a powerful tool for self-discovery. Writing freely, whatever comes to mind without worrying about grammar or punctuation, can help you explore your thoughts and emotions. You can also write about specific topics, such as your values or beliefs, to clarify who you are.
4. Complete standardized self-assessments
While I don’t recommend putting yourself into boxes, standardized assessments can provide a structured framework for self-reflection. This can be particularly useful if you struggle with introspection. It is important to note that no tool is perfect, and you should use your judgment and discretion when interpreting the results.
Remember that self-discovery is not a destination; it is a lifelong journey. What you learn about yourself will evolve as you grow.
When you find that something that worked in the past no longer works or feels right, it might be time to re-discover yourself.
Decide for yourself
There is abundant public information and external input on how we should live and pursue personal growth. As much as possible, resist this outside pressure in favor of self-directed development.
It’s about not letting others (friends, mentors, industry experts, etc.) tell you what to do and who to be. It’s starting from within and deciding how to use the information that is available to you.
The self-discovery process above will shed some light on areas you want to focus on. Consider the following questions as a starting point:
- What problem are you trying to solve?
- What opportunity are you interested in pursuing?
- What comes naturally to you that you want to explore and lean into?
- What feels harder than you think it should? And how can you simplify it?
- What personal limitations would you like to overcome or learn to work around?
- What one thing can you take on that can improve multiple areas of your life?
Here are some additional questions to help you get unstuck.
Once you have developed clarity around what you want to work on, look for examples, tools, and recommendations. Use your decision as a filter for outside information.
You are setting the direction. The outside world only offers suggestions. Once you know where you are headed, let it show you different ways to get there.
Consider the tradeoffs
Before starting a new personal growth project, take some time to consider the inevitable spill-offs into other areas of your life.
As a complex system, all your life’s components are interrelated and influence one another. It is unlikely that a change in one area will remain confined to that component of your life.
Any new effort that takes up your time and energy will necessarily take these resources away from something you are currently doing. As much as you can, be intentional about these tradeoffs.
Even when the tradeoffs are hard to predict ahead of time, just being aware that they will happen can help you adjust and make the most of the situation.
When you embark on a new change, pay attention to the unintended consequences in other areas of your life. When you notice these ripple effects, consider whether they are worth it or whether you can mitigate them (if needed).
Some of the unintended consequences might be positive! Your fitness efforts might spill over into other areas of your life because you are more energetic and clearheaded due to exercising more regularly.
On the other hand, your new efforts to grow your career and earn a promotion might require long hours at the office, which negatively affects your social relationships.
Tradeoffs are a natural part of the growth process. The key is to be intentional about making them.
7 Supporting Mental Models
Several recurring themes emerge in the self-management framework. These mental models support our self-management efforts and apply to everything we do to improve ourselves.
Focus on the “Self”
Personal growth requires us to recognize and let go of the things we cannot control. In most instances, external circumstances and other people are outside of our control.
By focusing on ourselves, we can cultivate a sense of personal agency and channel our efforts productively. Through self-management, we are directing our energy and attention toward things that we have the power to change.
By practicing self-awareness, self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love, we can make positive changes in our lives, improve our relationships, and achieve greater personal fulfillment.
Kindness and Compassion
Whether directed towards ourselves or others, kindness and compassion are essential qualities that can help us develop and thrive.
A growing body of research in positive psychology shows that positive and supportive emotions create greater motivation and lead to better results than coercion and punishment.
Curiosity
It is hard to dissociate from our emotions when we are going through the thick of life. Curiosity can help us distance ourselves from the situation enough to see the bigger picture.
Genuine curiosity can take us out of our acute emotions, put us in an observer role, and initiate our problem-solving mode. Curiosity gives our brain a task to focus on, a puzzle to solve.
When we ask ourselves the right questions, our attempt to solve them can set us on a path of growth and possibilities.
Intentionality
Intentionality is being deliberate and purposeful in our actions and decisions. It allows us to take an active role in shaping our lives.
Our capacity to grow is predicated on our ability to initiate and welcome change. We have to choose to challenge the status quo. We have to decide to revise aspects of our lives we have become comfortable with.
Our default patterns keep us where we are. To develop ourselves further, we must be intentional about upgrading our ingrained habits, behaviors, and attitudes.
Curation
With the ever-growing amount of available advice, recommendations, opinions, and data, we must sift through the noise and curate the resources that resonate with us.
This curation process requires us to filter the information we receive, experiment with various tools and paradigms, evaluate them for ourselves, and decide whether they are appropriate.
Over time, we can develop a customized toolbox to support our development with carefully selected resources that fit within our personal systems and are relevant to our interests.
Seasonality
There is no finality in personal development. As long as we live, there will be new growth opportunities.
Embracing seasonality means recognizing that growth and progress happen in stages. It’s important to honor where we are in our journey and adjust our goals and actions accordingly.
We must remain open to prevent rigidity from setting in. We can continue to learn from our experiences, challenge ourselves, and improve our skills and abilities.
Furthermore, change is inevitable, and resisting it is futile. The most significant personal growth comes from stepping out of our comfort zones and embracing new opportunities.
Alignment
To operate and evolve as a cohesive system, we must remain cognizant of the multiple components of our lives. Personal growth also requires us to develop different facets of ourselves over time.
The more aligned we can be with our various personal attributes and life components, the easier our development process and the better our results will be.
Ultimately, working with ourselves rather than against ourselves is the more advantageous and effective path.
References:
[1] Tooley, Christian. “What ‘Systems Thinking’ Actually Means – and Why It Matters Today.” World Economic Forum, January 18, 2021. https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2021/01/what-systems-thinking-actually-means-and-why-it-matters-today/.
[2] Schulman-Green D; Jaser S; Martin F; Alonzo A; Grey M; McCorkle R; Redeker NS; Reynolds N; Whittemore R; “Processes of Self-Management in Chronic Illness.” Journal of nursing scholarship: an official publication of Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing. U.S. National Library of Medicine, May 2, 2012. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22551013/.
[3] Herrity, Jennifer. “Self-Management Skills: Definition, Examples and Tips.” Indeed.com, February 3, 2023. https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/self-management-skills.
