My Take on the Book

This book was a game-changer for me. Carey Nieuwhof tactfully redirected the personal success conversation towards reclaiming our time, managing our energy, and focusing on priorities.

This was a much-needed departure from our society’s unending pursuit of illusive time management. This book made me realize that there was a better way to “do” life and offered a practical framework to make immediate changes.

This book is a great read for anyone who struggles with feeling overwhelmed or on the brink of burnout. It also comes with template resources downloadable from the author’s website.

Favorite Quotes

“Many people are overwhelmed, overcommitted, and overworked doing exactly what they thought they wanted to do with their lives.”

(p. 7)

“If you don’t declare a finish line to your work, your body will.”

(p.8)

“Without a clear strategy for saying no, you default to yes, and your life vaporizes with other people’s priorities being realized rather than your own.”

(p. 121)

“The quality of your work is determined by the quality of your thinking.”

(p.145)

“Stress is good bad word. Our culture hates stress yet thrives on it. As a result, the pullback toward stress is almost gravitational. Stress is a badge of honor in the hamster-wheel life everybody’s living.”

(p.189)

“Your life and leadership are always changing, and your approach needs to change with them. In an overwhelmed culture, your agility is the cap on your ability.”

(p. 191)

Book Summary

Part One: This Much Stress is Not Okay

You have three primary assets: time, energy, and priorities. When you don’t have an intentional strategy, then these assets work against you, not for you. Without a clear plan, your time and energy get highjacked by others. 

The goal in life should not be mere survival. When you build a life you want to escape from, you find yourself trying to survive until your next vacation or break. But that is not the goal.

People delude themselves by thinking they are in a busy season and just need to get through it for things to settle down. If your busy season never seems to end, this is your life. 

Taking days off won’t solve the problem of overwhelm. You need to have better days “on.” You need a sustainable pace.

Common patterns that lead to the Stress Spiral are unfocused time, unleveraged energy, and hijacked priorities.

Not all waking hours are the same. You need to channel your time intentionally.

Unfocused time means that things happen haphazardly, and important tasks get squeezed into random spots, usually what is left over from all the distractions.

Focusing your time helps you get more accomplished in less time. 

You only have a limited number of highly productive hours in a day. Leveraging your energy creates the best results. 

The opposite of the Stress Spiral is the Thrive Cycle. Both have clear patterns.

To thrive, the goal is to “do what you are best at when you are at your best.”

Creating margin allows us room to breathe. “You are your most kind when you have the most margin.” (p. 39)

A meaningful life is one where you thrive in all areas, not sacrificing one for another.

Life is not static. As your circumstances change, you must adjust how you focus your time, leverage your energy and pursue your priorities.

Part Two: Focus Your Time

You have the same amount of time as everyone else. You have enough time for anything you want to do.

Time is a finite asset. But we are all bombarded with unlimited possibilities. Time management brings you diminished returns over time.

No matter how efficient you get, more opportunities will always be available than you have the capacity for.

Embrace the truth that you have the time to do what you want. If you didn’t do something, it’s because you did not take the time for it.

Tell yourself the truth about time. No more excuses.

The things you did not do were not prioritized. It’s not that you didn’t have time; you did not take time for those things.

Abandon the idea of balance as a goal. Balance is often presented as a way to want less. To build a meaningful life, you have to have goals. 

Embrace passion instead. Be selective about what you pursue and be passionate about it. Passion is not only reserved for work; it can apply to your personal life.

Focus your time and passion on the people and things that matter most to you.

Part Three: Leverage Your Energy

Whether you consider yourself a night owl or an early bird, all hours of the day are not equal. Your energy will wax and wane throughout the day.

“Most people only have three to five deeply productive hours in a day when their energy is at its peak. That’s it.” (p.61)

Three leveraged hours are better than ten unleveraged hours.

Schedule your medical appointments in the morning when there is less chance of an “adverse event.”

Develop your Energy Clock. Track your productivity and mood throughout the day to map out your Green, Yellow, and Red Zones. Don’t find your energy patterns; work with them.

Green Zone – When your energy is high, your mind is clear, and your focus is sharp.

Red Zone – When your energy is low. You struggle to pay attention and to produce meaningful work.

Yellow Zone – When your energy is in the middle. You’re neither at your best nor at your worst.

You are best at the intersection of your passion, gifting, and impact. That is, what you are good at, what you love to do, and what creates the most significant difference. Reserve your Green Zone for what you are best at.

Also, use your Green Zone to learn, grow and improve your gifts. The natural tendency is to spend less time developing the things we are good at. But that is a mistake; your gifts need honing.

Once you have capitalized on your Green Zone, match your moderate and least important tasks to the Yellow and Red zones.

You likely have more control over your schedule than you realize. Focus on the parts you can control.

Part Four: Realize Your Priorities

Our priorities get hijacked by three factors: poor prioritization, our own distractibility, and other people.

The opposite of distraction is traction, not focus.

Unimportant tasks will always clamor for your attention. You have to focus on the right/important tasks actively.

Narrow your focus. Aim to spend 80% of your time on your most important (top 20%) activities. 

Every external request for your time and energy is someone else’s attempt to further their agenda and realize their priorities, not yours. Have a clear strategy for saying no to things that threaten to hijack your priorities.

Instead of seeking temporary solutions, use Radical Decision-Making to eliminate entire categories of people and activities from your life. Create guidelines for things you will not do or accept, and automate your decision-making. 

Stop interrupting yourself. Being distracted is expensive. Protect your Green Zone from distractions. 

“Every time you give your attention to something or someone, it costs you.” (134)

Do your most important work in the right environment. Optimize the conditions in which you spend your Green Zone. The right ecosystem will help you thrive.

Suggestions for creating an optimal environment: shut off all notifications, give yourself space to think (take a walk and wander to generate ideas) and try to make the most of early mornings.

Most of us are wired to maintain three to five close relationships, 12 to 15 friendships, and a network of 150 looser personal relationships.

Social media makes us believe we can successfully juggle more relationships, but we top out at 150. 

Prioritize spending time with people who energize you. Focus on healthy mutual relationships.

Don’t treat everyone the same. Match the depth and speed of your responses to the depth of your relationship with someone.

Part Five: Theory, Meet Real Life

Don’t leave white space on the calendar. White space is problematic for a couple of reasons. It allows others to hijack your time. And it gives you false hope that you will be less busy in a few weeks or months.

“Blank space on your calendar is a trap. It looks like freedom, but it’s really jail disguised as liberty.” (p. 171)

Preschedule your calendar to control how you spend your time. Schedule your priorities, including family time. By deciding in advance, you are less at the whim of other people’s priorities.

Using a fixed calendar (Thrive Calendar) will ensure that you protect your Green Zone and that the people and things that matter to you have a dedicated time slot.

Set up recurring appointments with yourself to reserve time for what matters most. Map out your Green, Yellow, and Red Zones. Add your tasks and activities accordingly. Preschedule your work time and personal time.

Once you start to thrive using your Thrive Cycle, be prepared to recalibrate when needed.

If you anticipate any changes to your life (good or bad), start instigating adjustments as soon as possible. Adjusting before things break is better than trying to repair them after the fact.

Focus on adjusting these three percentages: time spent alone versus with people, time spent in meetings, and time spent on the road versus at home.