A Path to Clarity and Productivity

Asking ourselves questions is one the easiest ways to get our minds into problem-solving mode. And asking the right questions can profoundly impact how we navigate life. Good questions propel us forward and open up possibilities. 

When you ask yourself a question, your brain is on a quest to answer it. It is not uncommon that a solution we have been searching for appears when we are least expecting it, seemingly out of nowhere.

The brain continues to work on the problem even when we are not actively thinking about it. Lots of insights happen when we are asleep.

In this post, let’s explore eleven thought-provoking questions to help us gain clarity, expand our options, challenge our assumptions, and discover better ways to do things.

The first few will allow us to check in with ourselves periodically, especially when feeling slightly out of sorts. The others will help us prioritize and be productive. All of these can easily be incorporated into a personal reflective practice.

Questions for Checking In and Getting Unstuck

1. Other than my feelings, am I okay?

When we feel challenged, stressed, or anxious, our bodies can automatically go into a fight or flight response. This question allows us to distinguish between perceived threats and real threats.

A real threat is one that puts our life and well-being in danger. A perceived threat usually creates a certain amount of discomfort but will cause no physical harm. It is easy to blur the lines between the two. Sometimes, our bodies react disproportionately to our situation.

When I ask myself this question, I usually realize that I am physically safe and sound. At most, I may be experiencing uncomfortable feelings or anticipating something unpleasant in the future. My emotions are important, but at the moment, I am physically okay. 

Realizing that you are in no mortal danger can help you gain some perspective, stop catastrophizing, redirect your thoughts, and calm yourself down.

2. What am I feeling right now?

In order to operate at our best, we have to understand and work with our emotions. This question allows us to be more self-aware and in tune with our own needs and desires.

By acknowledging what we are feeling, we can better manage ourselves and make informed decisions. 

It is common to overuse the word “stressed.” We default to it to describe a lot of different feelings: sadness, fatigue, overwhelm, anxiety, disappointment, etc.

When answering this question, try to pinpoint the exact emotion you are feeling. What is the specific word to describe it?

If you can be specific about your current feelings, you can find the appropriate tools to address them. Being tired will require a different solution than being sad.

This exercise also helps us communicate our feelings to others, improving our relationships and overall well-being.

3. What do I need right now?

Similarly to the previous question, this one helps us further clarify what specifically needs to be done in order for us to get into a better physical and mental state.

Identifying a specific area that needs attention gives us actionable steps to feel better. We can work to address our immediate mental and physical needs.

This question often dovetails into more specific ones.

Am I thirsty, hungry, or tired? Do I need to walk away from my computer? Do I need to spend some time outside? Do I need time alone? Do I need sleep?

You might think that your brain would tell you what you need without prompting, but that’s not the case. When you experience a general sense of malaise, it may not be clear what specifically is the issue. 

Until you ask yourself, “What do I need?” the answer is slightly out of reach. This question forces us to focus on what specifically we can do to feel better immediately.

Knowing what to do is the first step in the right direction.

4. What priorities am I displaying lately?

Your true priorities are the things you make time for. These are the non-negotiable activities and behaviors that you refuse to go without. Sadly, there can be a difference between what we claim as our priorities and how we actually spend our time. 

We may say that our family is our top priority, but if we are constantly working late or checking our phones during dinner, our actions suggest otherwise.

Similarly, we may claim that our health is important, yet we skip workouts or eat poorly. Until we act on what we consider a priority, it remains a simple wish.

The sooner we embrace the fact that what we choose to do day in and day out is actually a reflection of our true priorities, the sooner we can align our actions with what matters to us.

If someone says that health is their priority, but they never make time to do the things that help them feel healthy, then it’s really not a priority. It’s a wish, it’s something they would like  to make a priority but haven’t yet. 

This question offers us an opportunity to take a step back and evaluate how we are spending our time to ensure that it aligns with what truly matters to us.

What do your daily choices tell you about what you are prioritizing right now? Do you like what you find? And if not, how can you align your actions with what matters?

5. What am I avoiding right now?

Resistance takes up a lot of our energy and wastes our time. This can happen when we procrastinate on essential tasks, avoid difficult conversations, or create complicated workarounds for situations that do not serve us. 

This question forces us to identify what we are actively avoiding and what is keeping us from moving forward. It can help us confront unspoken fears, anxieties, or discomforts that we may be subconsciously or actively avoiding. 

By acknowledging these issues, we can start working towards addressing them, minimizing the resistance, and lightening our mental load. We may even find that addressing an issue takes a lot less time and energy than it took to avoid it.

It may be time to have a difficult conversation or tackle a daunting task. Or you may need to decide to let go of something altogether, releasing it from your mental to-do list. Another option is to delegate something or ask for help to get it moving. It is time to remove the blockages from your day. 

Start with this question and then process your situation by digging deeper.

Do I have to do the thing that I’m avoiding? Or can I just decide that it doesn’t get done? Do I need to outsource it? Do I need to schedule it for some time in the future so I can relax until that point? Or can I just take care of it now so I can move on? 

6. What am I looking forward to?

A wise quote often attributed to Emmanuel Kant states that the secret to happiness is to have “something to love, something to do, something to look forward to.”

When I consider my life, the first two requirements are usually taken care of. A lot of us have someone to love: parents, siblings, partners, children, pets, etc. At the very least, we should work on loving ourselves.

A lot of us also have things to do, a job, caregiving duties, home repairs, personal maintenance, etc. Our lives tend to fill up with things that occupy our time.

But the third requirement, “something to look forward to,” does not happen without a minimum of effort on our part. Of course, we could occasionally be looking forward to something someone else is working on.

But, to depend on others to create something fun in our future puts unrealistic pressure on them. In order to always have something interesting ahead, we have to intentionally plan it. 

So ask yourself this question, and if you find that you have nothing to look forward to, it is time to start planning. It can be something big, like a trip abroad, or relatively small, like meeting a friend for coffee.

When we don’t have something to look forward to, our days start to feel repetitive, monotonous, and tedious. 

7. What would I tell my daughter (or best friend) in this situation?

Have you noticed that you are great at giving other people advice? But when it comes to your problems, you seem less clear on the right path to take.

Part of why this happens is that we lose objectivity when it comes to our own situation. We are limited by our perspective and may be unable to consider all alternatives. Decisions about our own lives tend to be fraught with cognitive rigidity and conflicting emotions.

This question forces us to rephrase our situation as if it were happening to someone else. When pretending to offer advice to others, we switch from first-person to third-person thinking.

This allows us to take advantage of an outsider’s perspective, which allows us to see the situation more objectively and offer more rational potential solutions.

To take this further, I like to frame the question as if it were happening to someone I love and care about.

When I think about my daughter or my best friend, I care about their long-term well-being. My advice for them comes from a nurturing, patient, forgiving place. It can reflect some tough love, but I always have their best interest at heart.

8. What would Rihanna do? 

Similar to the previous question, this one forces us into a level of objectivity but also adds a filter of our personal value system. Asking “What would [name your hero] do?” allows us to consider our values when making critical decisions. 

When you think of someone you admire, they reflect back to you the qualities you hold in high esteem. Regardless of who your hero is, thinking about how they would handle your situation forces you to look beyond your personal limitations and default behaviors. 

I use Rihanna as my example. To me, her name evokes boldness, fearlessness, and confidence. I do not know her personally and cannot vouch for her character traits, but that does not matter.

Your hero can be a fictitious character or even a made-up version of yourself. The question could easily become, “What would my best self do?”

The only thing that matters is that your chosen hero operates from a place that embraces the values that you admire the most. Using their name in the question forces you to elevate your thinking to align with your values.

Questions for Prioritization and Productivity

9. What is the ONE thing that would…

• have the biggest impact?
• make everything else easier or better? 
• make everything else unnecessary or unimportant?

This set of questions is an adaptation of something Gary Keller wrote. In an insightful book called The ONE Thing, he introduced the question, “What’s the one thing I can do, such that by doing it, everything else is easier or unnecessary?” 

This question is a powerful tool for increasing our focus and productivity. The idea behind it is that by identifying the most important task or goal, we can prioritize it above all other tasks and distractions, ultimately making progress faster and more efficiently.

If we work on the most important thing, everything else will sort itself out and fall into place. 

I know that when I go on my daily walk with my dog, Sasha, everything else feels better. I’m more focused at work. I’m more pleasant around my family. I feel better. This single activity has ripple effects in many areas of my life. So, I always prioritize a daily walk. 

So next time you find yourself staring at an endless to-do list, ask yourself what one thing will move the needle the most.

10. Will this matter in three months or in two years?

This is one of my go-to questions to stop perfectionism in its tracks. It helps prioritize what is important and determine how much energy we should be putting into a particular activity.

First, when we procrastinate, it is easy to spend a lot of time on things that don’t matter. That is our brain’s way of convincing us that we are being productive. In fact, this is called productive procrastination.

But if what we are working on will not matter in a few days, weeks, or months, we are better off not putting too much effort into it, especially not at the expense of something else that truly matters. 

Second, even when I am not procrastinating, I have an “all or nothing” approach to doing things. I tend to put the same amount of zeal into mundane tasks as I do important work.

But obviously, writing a quick email to a colleague to share meeting notes should not elicit the same amount of effort as putting together an annual report that will be distributed to high-impact stakeholders.

By thinking about what matters in the long run, we can decide what matters and what deserves the most effort. We can allow ourselves to do a good enough job with everything else.

11. What would this look like if it were easy?

Not only does perfectionism make us work hard on things that don’t matter, but it can also make us glorify struggling as proof that what we are doing is worthwhile.

We have all heard the phrase “no pain, no gain,” and it can make us feel that success requires everything to be difficult and complicated. 

Whenever I try to do something, and my brain makes me think that it has to be difficult to be worthwhile, I’ll ask myself, “What would this look like if it were easy?” 

By making new activities or habits easy to complete, we are more likely to follow through with our goals and keep going. 

This question encourages us to explore alternative ways of approaching a problem or handling a task that we might not have considered before. It prompts us to think creatively and identify potential shortcuts or streamlined processes that can lead to quicker and more effective results.

Furthermore, the phrase challenges the notion that success must always come from hard work and struggle. It reminds us that achieving goals and overcoming obstacles can be achieved with elegance and ease without sacrificing quality or effort. 

By envisioning what tasks would look like if they were easy, we can approach challenges more open-mindedly, embrace simplicity, and find innovative solutions that make life more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Parting Words

Learning to ask the right questions can be a powerful tool in our self-management arsenal. The eleven questions above are a good starting point for building your repertoire of clarifying and propelling inquiries. 

I will caution you that just knowing these questions is not the same as actively asking them of yourself. When you’re going through uncertainty or a rough patch, intentionally ask yourself these questions. Write them down, and say them out loud. 

I often find that clearly stating a question will help me focus and turn off the chatter that’s happening in my mind.

I hope you find these questions as helpful as I do.